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Anger, Healing, and the April Eclipse

The total solar eclipse on April 8 will take place in the sign of Aries, so we already know it's going to be feisty. However, Mercury is also retrograding and the eclipse will join Chiron, the "Wounded Healer." When we look at all this information put together, it indicates that we're going to have to address wounds around the topics of winning, competition, and forging our own paths...and our frustrations and disappointments around them. How has life seemingly not worked out the way we wanted it to? How have we compromise too much or too little? These are questions we'll need to answer before we can enter our next phases.

Something that's normal to feel during this time is anger. Mercury is taking us deep within to reassess, reevaluate, and reconsider our past. And when it retrogrades in Aries, we are thinking about our successes, failures, and our personal sense of agency. If you're feeling particularly frustrated, it's probably a sign to look at all of the projects and dreams you've shoved onto the back burner, because they're begging for you to reignite them. And that's the word I've chosen for this eclipse/retrograde season—reignite.

It's important to remember that eclipses don't do things. They're not like transits. They set themes for the following 6-12 months (this one's a total eclipse, so I'll give it the full year), so you'll still want to get readings to look at your transits to see how and when things will pan out. But expect to be spurred towards emotional growth, because this Aries eclipse has a strong Chironic signature.

Discussions around Chiron bring up strong feelings in me about the current state of pop spirituality. We throw around words like "triggering" and "healing" and have turned them into buzzwords, where we sound enlightened and like we're "doing the work," but we haven't said anything useful or specific. There was a time when people didn't use the word "triggered" without specifying what got triggered. The same goes for "healing." What, exactly, are you healing? It's soupy and unclear.

This eclipse is asking us to finish those sentences if we're going to invoke the idea of healing. Chiron represents a very tender spot on our soul, and to effectively heal it, we need to know where it is and what exactly it's about. To do blanket (and vague) "healing" is like loading up on painkillers or random antibiotics for an illness that requires more specialized care. This healing work isn't always easy, so don't do it alone if you don't have to. (And this is a good time to remind everybody that I'm an astrologer, not a mental health professional, and if you do need help, please seek the help of a professional.)

I've been experiencing this eclipse through anger and frustration, which is on-brand for all the action going on currently in Aries. Ever since Mercury stationed, I've felt a mounting sense of anger, and I woke up fully enraged the morning Mercury retrograded. I'm not saying that I don't have a temper (because I do), but this feeling was different from the everyday, run-of-the-mill variety of irritability. This budding anger had roots that reached somewhere deep inside me.

I truly believe that anger is the language of the disempowered, and it serves to warn us when our boundaries have been violated or when we've been unfairly treated. And it all tracks for me personally, because I have a work situation that's making me feel super put-upon and disrespected. However, instead of using it as justification to lash out, I know that deep hurts often cover deep wishes. And this is the magic of Chiron—the promise of wisdom through healing pain.

I know that my anger isn't about the people in my current work drama. It's actually about the deep frustration I feel over having to be there because I need money. It's about the deep resentment I feel over having to deal with ineptitude and shenanigans because I don't sell enough books. Because I don't book enough readings. Because I don't sell enough courses. Because I'm not where I thought I should be by now. Because, because, because. And that has made me feel self-righteously put-upon, like I'm being forced to deal with the current drama without my consent (when I choose to go). But beneath all that indignation is the real wound—disappointment and the fear of failure. The anger isn't the issue, the anger is the response to the wound. It is the wound speaking through the language of Aries.

So for me, personally, I know that this is just something I need to attend to and heal through patience, perspective, and compassion (for myself and others). I am also aware that the anger isn't rational, so I don't run with it and react to it. This is just the self-reflection that the eclipse is requiring of me before it will open new chapters in my life, because I cannot carry that junk with me onwards. During this season, use your anger and your fears to light the path towards what needs healing. Hurt and fear often are just scar tissue protecting our deepest held, most tender wishes.

Disclaimer: And this is where I have to insist that healing looks different for everybody, so do not put undue pressure on yourself to "heal." There is no right or wrong way to do eclipses. If you're not feeling anything, the eclipses might not be hitting sensitive points in your personal chart, and that's okay.

With this Aries eclipse being affected by Mercury retrograde and Chiron, we're starting new chapters in our life. However, we've been somehow holding ourselves back from launching forward, and we're going to need to first do inner work before we can free ourselves from the shackles of doubt. So, yes, this is a powerful eclipse, but it's also an emotional one. If you feel the call to work on your inner doubts and insecurities, just know that it's in your best interests, because the Jupiter-Uranus conjunction on April 20 is bringing dynamic changes and shake-ups. The more you rid yourself of psychic junk, the more ready you'll be to capitalize on the next set of zany transits.

And, remember—reignite.

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